


Here and There and Gone

by DanieXJ



Series: Mardi Gras [2]
Category: ER
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-04-13
Updated: 2009-04-13
Packaged: 2017-11-20 10:07:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 6,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/584188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DanieXJ/pseuds/DanieXJ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place approximately 7 months after "Sunshine", about December 2003, early December not Christmas time December.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is instead of 'Chevy's and Pies', sorta. If ya squint a lot.

"You're new at this, huh?"

Kerry stared at the bar with a smile. It was a quiet night and both women could actually hear the other. "You could say that."

The short brunette rested her arms on the bar next to Kerry. "You okay?"

Kerry stared in the mirror above the rows of bottles. "It's my birthday."

The brunette raised her glass, "Happy Birthday. Big number?"

"Yes."

"21, right?"

Kerry looked over at the woman with a frown, but it turned into a smile when she saw the twinkle in the other woman's eyes. "Ah... joke."

"Okay." The woman drew out the word, "So, it's not age. You look healthy, that leaves horrible tragedy, or a woman."

Kerry sighed, "Men... I never in my wildest thought I'd say this, but men are easier now, I understand men, how to deal with 'em, talk to them, yell at them. I've never understood women, even when they were only supposed to be my friends. Men are straight forward, you want sex, you tell 'em, you want to be friends, you tell 'em. They either like it, or don't like it, but that's the end of it..."

The brunette chuckled, "Join the club. I'm Sandy... Sandy Lopez."

"Kerry Weaver."

"Ah, the ER Doctor."

Kerry groaned, "My reputation precedes me? And yet you're still here?"

Sandy's ever present smile didn't dim, "I like a challenge. So, who is this crazy woman who cannot appreciate your beauty?"

Kerry blushed bright red. "You must be drunk."

Sandy touched Kerry's nose, then her own. "Nope, not even tipsy yet. Seriously, she want to move in already? Have kids?" Sandy shuddered, "Handcuffs that just grow and grow, and poop, and..." She trailed off.

Kerry was silent for a moment as she took a sip of her wine, "A Birthday party..."

"The horror."

Kerry rolled her eyes, "Let me start from the beginning."


	2. Chapter 2

"Now listen here, just stick it in your pointed ear. I'll still... teach this boy." David seemed to have quite a repertoire of both pop songs and Broadway hits. For the past seven months he had been running through all of them. It had started sometime after he'd been hired as an Attending in County's ER. The patients didn't seem to mind it when he came in humming a song they knew, so Kerry let it ride. Only reminding him every once in a while that her ER wasn't a karaoke bar, and to tone it down.

But the song he thought he was singing was different, and Kerry couldn't let it slide. "David." Dave's eyes got large as he turned around slowly.

He swallowed, "Chief, I'll quiet down if you want, but... I was just..."

Kerry smiled, which didn't throw him off as much as it would have seven months ago. "I want you to learn the correct words to the song if you're going to be humming it in my ER."

David nodded, but was clearly confused, "So, it's not named, 'The Saga Begins'?"

Kerry sat down and started to look over some budget charts, "Nope, definitely older than that."

Dave's eyes lit up, "Older, really, like you, or like Doctor Anspaugh?"

Kerry stared up at Dave intently and muttered to herself. "Note, don't start what you don't want to finish." To Dave she responded, "Go ask Don McLean David, but first..." Kerry handed him a chart, "This is an employee, so try not to get yourself fired. Okay?" She raised a questioning eyebrow.

Dave nodded cockily, "Who me? I'm the charmer of the ER."

Chuny tilted her head to one side as they crossed paths by the admit desk, "In what universe?"

Kerry glanced around and decided that if she wanted to get any of her budget work done, it would have to be in the lounge. She gathered the papers and moved to the lounge. As she put the papers down a pfft of air shot a calendar page off the table. She picked it up and just stared at it for a long moment. She heard the lounge door open and she stuffed it in her pocket.

"Hey Ker, you look like you've seen a ghost?" The blonde Psychiatrist leaned down and gave Kerry a kiss on the cheek. She frowned as Kerry stood and put some distance between the two of them.

Kim tried to push it from her thoughts and plowed on, "So, are you ready for tomorrow?"

Kerry frowned, "What?"

Kim's brow furrowed as well, "You don't remember, tomorrow's my high school reunion."

Kerry sighed and fiddled with her crutch. "Kim, I... I don't think I can go. I'm sorry, I wish..."

Kim looked like a puppy dog that had just watched her owners drive off on vacation. "Are you sure Kerry? Is it something..."

Kerry took a step towards Kim, then a step back. Kim could practically see Kerry shutting down, but didn't know how to stop it. "It's not going with you, really, it's not being out in public. Believe me, please, I just. It's tomorrow, the day I mean, or night. I can't." The red head plastered her best smile on and after a second's hesitation went over to Kim. She stretched up and caught Kim by surprise with a kiss that was finished nearly as fast as it started. "You go, have fun, brag about how wildly successful you are."

Kim still looked downcast, but her steadfast smile was slowly resurfacing, "And I'll brag about my highly successful and stunningly beautiful girlfriend."

Kerry mock pushed at the blonde, "Kim," but a slight smile came to her face despite herself. Kim had that way about her.

The smile disappeared, and Kerry barely restrained herself from jumping across the room when Chuny burst through the door into the lounge. "Doctor Weaver, six car pile up on the expressway."

Kerry nodded, "We only take three majors Chuny." Chuny nodded and left the room. She frowned at Kim, who was shaking her head. "What?"

"How in the world do you just... keep that stuff in your head, you can't even see the board, and yet you know how many majors, probably minors too, that you can take. Are you ever wrong?"

"Nope."

Kim chuckled, "I'll see you tonight? My place."

Kerry nodded, "Tonight."


	3. Chapter 3

"You sure it's not a U-Haul problem? How long had you two been doin' the light fantastic? I say, less than a year..."

Kerry stared at Sandy over her wine glass, "Are you serious?"

A smile came to Sandy's lips, "You tell me."

"What?"

Sandy framed her face with her hands, "Am I serious or yankin' your chain?"

Kerry stared at Sandy for a long time before shaking her head and taking drink of her wine. "That is the worst pick up... situation I've ever seen. That..." Kerry shook her head, "That is worse than,... than..."

"You must be tired, because you've been runnin' through my mind all day? Doesn't really work unless you know me first."

Kerry groaned, "Does yours usually work?"

Sandy shook her head for a moment, "Well, you're the first it hasn't gotten into bed Ker..." Kerry's face closed and Sandy winced, "Not, she calls you that, come up with a better nickname." Sandy looked Kerry up and down. "Doc?"

"How original."

Sandy caught a strand of Kerry's hair between her fingers, "Probably got called Red all through school huh?"

Kerry shook her head, "No."

"Then Red it is."

Kerry glanced over at Sandy, "Red? You don't even know if I'm a natural red head."

Sandy laughed, "I wouldn't mind finding out, and now who's flirting huh? But, c'mon, you have me on pins and needles, finish the story, 'cause I'm thinking there's a bit more."

"We had a quiet night. The next night she went to her reunion."

"Did you ask what went on?"

Kerry shook her head, "I was... in my head, when I get that way."

Sandy slid from her stool one away from Kerry's to the one right next to Kerry. "Hey, happens to everyone every once in a while."


	4. Chapter 4

Kim sat at a table all alone in the hotel banquet room. It wasn't that she hadn't had friends in high school, she had been quite popular. It was Kerry who was worrying her. They'd been through Kerry's insecurities the first time they'd gone out and it had nearly destroyed both of them. She was worried that them talking, Kerry pulling away, would snowball again, and they'd end up right where she'd been seven months ago. And, if Kim were truthful with herself, she wasn't sure if she could survive another Kerry Weaver break up. This time it wasn't just a fling with a straight girl, a month earlier they'd even talked about kids. 

Kim shook her head, "Christy would laugh her ass off."

A throat cleared and she looked up. A genuine smile came to her face, "Curtis, bud, how're you doing? Have any more kids?"

Curtis turned a chair backwards and straddled it, "Nope, two is the perfect number, one girl, one boy."

"Two is for wimps Curt, now four, maybe five, that proves you're a parent."

Curtis shook his head, "The more important question is, how are you Oakley? We haven't chatted in... it's been a while. Not even an email. I'm crushed."

Kim rolled her eyes, "Well, other than you bringing me back the traumatic memories that accompany that nick, I've been busy... 'Frank'."

Curtis' eyes got bigger, "So, ya meet someone huh? She here? Is she cute?"

"Yes, no, and beautiful."

"Is she smart?"

"Sometimes so smart that it amazes me."

Curtis pursed his lips and then snapped his fingers, "Is she older?" That question didn't get an answer, just a slap to Curtis' gut. He rubbed it, "Ouch, that hurt. So she is older... hmmm..."

Kim shook her head at his actions. He had always seemed to act more like a big brother than a best friend. He always wanted to meet, approve of Kim's girlfriends, and teased her unmercifully. 

"I wouldn't say that to her Curtis. She may hit you with her crutch."

Curtis raised an index finger, "Ah, she has a physical disability. What profession is she in?"

Kim crossed her arms over her chest and started to play the game in earnest. "Medical."

Curtis smiled. "Ah, so I'm going to have to work for it. Okay..." Curtis started to mumble to himself. It was his way to organize facts, Kim had always been astounded at how he could outline his papers in his head, and yet, ask him what seven plus four was, and he had to use his fingers.

He finally looked back up, "Okay, she is a professor somewhere?" Kim laughed, but didn't validate or refute his statement, "Well, what does she do? Don't ask me why, but I assume she's a doctor."

Kim shook her head, "Your mistake was assuming that she's hampered by her crutch." Kim smiled, "She's the head of the Emergency Department at County General."

Curtis' voice seemed to squeak, "Doctor Weaver?"

Kim nodded, "Yes, you know her?"

Curtis nodded, "When I moved back to Chicago, my first day I was told to stay far away from her. That she could um... cas... you know, with words."

Kim frowned, "Curtis, she's nothing like that, well, that's her job. She's such a beautiful person, I mean, it sounds horrible in my head, but inside and outside. She's had a hard life, and yet, she still..." Kim shook her head, "When she's with a patient, she's this shining angel."

Curtis shook his head right back, "You're done for..." He narrowed his eyes, "You want to have kids with this one. She's domesticated the great and wild Oakley. I never thought I'd see the day. Wait." He paused, "This...you dated her before didn't you, this Kerry, during your first stint at County, are you insane Kimmy. She ripped you into little teeny shreds of paper Kimberly..." He put a hand on one of Kim's, "Have you had one of your own psychotic breaks Kim?"

Kim pulled her hand away, "No Curtis."

"You never take someone back, Rachel went at you for a fuckin' year and a half Kim and you didn't take her back, and she was your first girl, and... wasn't Kerry, wasn't she straight? Don't they tend to go back if they start out straight?" Kim just stayed silent and stared into her best friends eyes. "Look, I'm all for you being happy." All the joking was out of his face, his eyes bored into Kim's. "She hung you out to dry Kim. You know how I know this, because I fucking helped put you back together. Not to mention help keep TJ and Simon from going Cro-Magnon on this Doctor Weaver."

"She was scared, and she's changed since then, and yes, she's still gay. Really, she's changed, we both have. I've seen it in the past seven months. Not everyone has as easy a time as I did coming out to people. Not everyone has a best friend who's happy as hell, and two parents whose biggest fear was that I'd turn out to be a firebug, who practically cried with joy that I was simply gay."

"But, you're worried."

Kim stared out at the dance floor, they were playing a snappy tune she sort of recognized from her youth. "The last few days..." Kim trailed off and shook he hand. She stood, "May I have this dance?"

Curtis gallantly got up and held out his hand to her. Letting the change of subject slide. "Of course, but you aren't going to put the moves on me or anything are you? I'm married remember, wife and two kids to go home to."

Kim laughed, "Don't you wish buster, don't you wish."


	5. Chapter 5

The two women had moved from the bar to a love seat to one side where they could see the entire place. Kerry sat, stiffly, and stared straight ahead. Sandy sat sideways, her leg under her, watching the red head. They'd been silent for a long time.

"You're in your head Red. Get outta there already. Did Kim tell you about the reunion, I know you didn't ask."

"No."

"What were you doin'?"

Kerry shook her head, "Same as always."


	6. Chapter 6

Kerry stood at her kitchen counter washing dishes from her late, late, dinner for one. She glanced at the clock. It was two am. "Well, it's tomorrow, two hours down, twenty two to go." She finished the last dish, but didn't moved from the sink. Her beeper went off. She rolled her eyes and dialed the ER's number at County. She waited for the Clerk's greeting, it was Randi. "It's Kerry, you paged me?"

In a slightly strained voice Randi responded, "Doctor Weaver, we have a small problem down here. Could you come in, the sooner the better."

Kerry closed her eyes, "Of course Randi, I'll be right in." She hung up and muttered, "Yeah, small, I bet."

oOOOOo

Kerry wasn't wrong in her estimation. The ER was in full crisis mode when she walked in. Nurses and Doctors were rushing all over the place, and it seemed as if nothing was getting done. Kerry frowned as she made her way to the admit desk. Randi was there, valiantly trying to keep track of everything. "Aren't you off Randi?"

Randi laughed a staccato laugh, "Like Frank could do this." Randi turned to an overly irate patient who was yelling at the top of his lungs. "No, YOU go sit down in a chair and we will be with you in a MOMENT."

Kerry surveyed the chaos around her and moved some papers around on the desk until she found the item she was looking for. She smirked.

Kerry waded into the throng of undulating bodies, lifted the whistle to her lips and blew as hard as she could.

Everyone's heads, staff and patients, snapped around to stare at the short red head still in her coat, with a crutch, and she flew into Ultra ER Chief Mode. "Thank you for your attention everyone. Now, if you are a person who is looking for a family member please line up at the desk in an orderly, and by that I mean no pushing, shoving, kicking, spitting, or otherwise acting like four year olds, fashion and Randi will help you. If you're a patient or need to be a patient, have... patience." A few people in the ER chuckled, "...we will be with you as quickly as well can."

She turned to the staff and simply raised her eyebrows. It was more than enough to get them moving again.

Once Kerry was sure that no one was going to revert to the chaos, she shucked her coat onto a chair and turned to Randi. "Call in everyone you can find. This is going to take awhile." Randi nodded, "And Randi..."

Randi's eyes went between Kerry and her computer screen, "Yeah?"

"Thank you." With that she went to catch up with a woman who was bleeding all the way down the hall to the exam rooms. Kerry shook her head as she practically had to run after the woman, "How much do I get paid for this? I need a raise."

oOOOOo

"Well, that was a great save Kerry." Romano said with a smirk, "Don't you think you should have closed our doors to casualties. You know, share the load."

Kerry looked up form her paperwork with fire in her eyes, "I tried Robert, but as you know, someone else reversed my decision."

Romano wagged a finger at Kerry, "You should really keep better control of your ER."

Kerry slowly got up and walked over to the door where Romano was standing. "They story is more like this Robert, someone above me seemed to cave when the media started commenting on how County had stopped taking in patients. Look, if you want to manage my ER, fine, I dare you. BUT..." Kerry now seemed to tower over Romano, even though they there was only a small height difference. "If you want me to run this ER, you. Let. Me. Do it. MY way."

As Romano stalked off down the hall everyone at the admit desk burst into cheers. Kerry didn't even bat an eye. "Get back to work people. If you can't find something to do. I will MAKE something for you to do." With that, she swirled back into the lounge. 

Randi pretended to look busy. "What do you think is bugging her? Before this she had been nicer. Now, it's ultra bitch mode again."

Dave chuckled, "I bet I know what's bugging her. I remember my mother going through it awhile ago I bet she's hittin' the big five oh, or maybe four oh. All that over the hill crap."

Randi looked up at the lounge door, "No, it's something deeper Dave. She doesn't give a shit about age."

Dave shrugged as he snagged the chart of a leg lac in curtain two. He impulsively decided to poke his head into the lounge first. Kerry was working through the endless pile of paperwork on the table when Dave cleared his throat. With a sigh she looked up, "What do you need Doctor Malucci?"

Dave swallowed, "I... we're sorry for the clapping before, but we didn't know how to show that were are behind you with the whole Romano is an ass thing."

Kerry waved a hand, "Thank you, I think, now, don't you have some patient to H & P?"

Dave held up a chart, "I'm already ahead of you Chief. What promises to be a very challenging leg lac." As he was walking towards the door he turned slightly to the side. "Oh, and Happy Birthday Chief. You're turning, what, thirty?" With that statement, and a wink that could have just been Kerry's imagination, he was out of the room like a bat out of hell since he didn't know how Kerry would take it.

She stared at the lounge door, sighed and went back to the paperwork. She jumped as a chart came clattering down on the table.

It was Kim, "Did you examine this patient?"

Kerry looked down at the chart and shook her head, "No, I think it was Pratt. I don't know who the attending was, why?"

Kim grimaced, not one of her more attractive faces. "Well, he is gone, and whoever paged me did it because he or she thought that the man might be the one who set the fire that caused all this."

Kerry blew out an annoyed breath. "Doesn't anyone in this place know the number for the Chicago police department?"

Kim smirked, "The patients seem to. So, it appears that we have another person obsessed with fire running loose in the ER. But I don't think that a popsicle enema is going to fix this guy." Kerry just stood and shook her head.

Kim carefully reached over and put her hand over Kerry's on her crutch. "I believe the phrase that you're looking for is, 'oh, shit', or maybe the lesser used, 'well, crap'."

Kerry chuckled softly, "I guess we have to find this guy before he burns down the ER."

As if on cue a shout came from the admit desk. "Nobody moves or I burn down the place."

Kim pulled a hand through her unruly blonde hair. "Doesn't it just feel like your birthday today?" Kim turned and missed the flash of surprise followed by pain on Kerry's face.

Kerry moved past Kim towards the lounge door. She opened it slowly, not wanting to scare the guy into doing something rash. She could feel Kim behind her, hovering near her left shoulder. She slowly walked into the main part of the ER. Everyone was standing as if in a painted tableaux. "What can we do for you sir?" She mustered all the caring she had left in her.

The man held a half empty milk jug and a long handled lighter. If Kerry had to guess, she would say that the jug probably had something flammable in it. "Don't move, I... I don't want to do this, but I..."

Kerry slowly moved towards the man, "Is there anything I can do? Why do you want to hurt everyone here?"

The man's hands started shaking and Kerry swallowed. She heard a hushed whisper from Kim, her name, she ignored the Psychiatrist, "They, everyone knows, but it was an accident. I didn't know, I didn't know."

The police chose that moment to burst into the ER, quickly scanned it, and with a bang, suddenly the man was falling onto Kerry, splashing the fluid, Kerry sniffed, Kerosene, all over her. She quickly caught him and laid him on the ground, "Luka, Pratt, Gallant..."

Luka nodded and sprang into action as Kerry felt herself being pulled back by Kim. "Randi, get a surgeon down here, and someone get me a gurney..."

Kerry, meanwhile, pulled away from Kim and crutched over to the two responding policemen. "Are you two insane? Where do you get off coming into MY ER and blowing away a patient who hadn't done anything. I want to speak to your Lieutenant, your Captain, your Chief."

The men looked at each other, one moved a bit away and took his radio off his shoulder. "Doctor, Doctor Weaver, could I suggest that you get changed out of those clothes?"

Kerry sighed and shook her head, walking away she mumbled, "I get the cowboys, I always get the cowboys."


	7. Chapter 7

Sandy frowned, "Wow..."

Kerry leaned back and felt Sandy's arm draped over her shoulders. "It all happened so fast."

Sandy chuckled, "You know, by the time it got to my station you were takin' out the guy single handedly. You were very MacGyver like in the story I heard..."

Kerry groaned, "Ah, God..."

Sandy squeezed Kerry. "C'mon, it means you're one of the good guys, the cops may be wary of you, but us firefighters love you Red, I have no doubt that a whole lot of the cops do too. You always treat us right, go the extra mile, and then a couple more after that. We don't fear goin' into your ER, oh, none of us like it, but we know that you'll do your damndest to save us, and if you don't, we know that you won't be asses to our families." Sandy trailed off, "You okay to continue?"

Kerry let a long breath out, "It's ironic, the one thing I have most in common with Kim is that we both tend to run instead of stay. But, something did come out of me getting drenched in accelerant, I met the person Kim had been with at the reunion."

"Oooh..."

Sandy winced and was surprised when Kerry laughed, "No, no, not like that. Her best friend... a police Captain, who, I don't think he liked me much."


	8. Chapter 8

Curtis loomed over Kerry, who was dressed in blue scrubs. Months before, Kerry had wound up with a sore stomach she'd laughed so hard when Kim had tried to explain the greatness of Kerry in green scrubs as opposed to blue ones.

But those happy moments were fare from Kerry's mind. Curtis spoke in a quietly confident voice. "This is very serious, what you're alleging Doctor Weaver, and these are not rookie officers."

Kerry nodded, "I am aware that you're job is not an easy one, but they shot one of my patients when I'm not sure it was necessary, someone should look into it is all I am saying. I'm not a police officer, I don't know what they saw or didn't see, but..."

Curtis stared at Kerry and finally nodded, "He was your patient? May I suggest calling the police the next time an arsonist comes into the ER?"

Kerry leaned on her crutch, "Every patient in the ER is under my care." With that she moved back to the admit desk.

oOOOOo

Kim was in the ER, looking for Kerry. She'd only briefly seen Kerry after she'd gone to get changed into some non-flammable clothes. And she was worried, she knew that Kerry had seen it all in the ER, but her inner psychiatrist still knew that having a dying man fall on you would not give you happy dreams. That, combined with whatever else was going on in Kerry's head. She was so intent on looking for the red head that she slammed into Curtis coming the other way. Her head snapped up, "What are you doing here?"

Curtis stared down at Kim with a frown, "Your," he said the next words with so much venom that it threatened to drip out of his mouth onto his chin, "girlfriend is making accusations against my officers. Did you see what happened?"

Kim gripped her clipboard close to her chest. "Not really. Why? Kerry wouldn't just throw accusations around."

Curtis shook his head, annoyed, "Look, do you know where she went? I need to talk to her, and she just fuc..." He trailed off, getting his anger under control. "Sorry, she just disappeared."

Kim stared at Curtis, "I don't know where she is.. have you checked the lounge?"

Curtis grabbed Kim's shoulder and was shaken off, "This is my job Oakley, I hope you understand that."

Kim didn't respond, just slammed open the door to the lounge. "Captain Scott would like to talk you some more Doctor Weaver."

Kerry looked up, surprised at Kim's use of her title, "Kim?"

Curtis turned to Kim, "C'mon Oakley, cut me a little slack here. It's just my job."

Kim shook her head and walked out of the lounge. Curtis turned back to Kerry with a sigh. "Could I ask you some more questions Doctor Weaver?"

Kerry gestured that he should sit. He did. "You know Kim?"

"Since high school. My best friend, well, we were at least. We went to the prom together."

"I thought she was out by then?"

Curtis shrugged, "I think she felt bad for me, my future wife, Lois, she dumped me days before it."

Kerry folded her hands in front of her, "Are you going to listen this time Captain Scott?"

Curtis nodded, "Yes ma'am, Miss... Ms..."

"Doctor."

Curtis flashed a slight smile that soon left his face, "Uh, right, you have to understand the severity of what you're saying."

Kerry laughed shortly. "Captain, do you think that I've never seen a shooting before, or an arson attempt, or had the police in my ER taking someone's life because they pull a knife, or a gun, or a piece of paper? There is at least one per year, if not more. Sometimes it seems to happen on a schedule."

Curtis took out a pad of paper and held it up. "Luckily I always come prepared."

"Ah, boy scout."

Curtis finally got started, "Had Mr. Nello threatened anyone in the ER before the officers arrived on scene?"

Kerry nodded, "Yes, but only obliquely. I believe that he was scared out of his wits about getting in trouble for the blaze."

Curtis wrote on his pad, "Did he say anything after the officer came in?"

Kerry shook her head, "No, nothing. They came in the door. Mr. Nello looked over at them, he looked even more freaked out..." At this point Luka walked into the room. Kerry looked up at him. He didn't say a word, just closed his eyes for a few second longer than they would have been if he'd blinked. Then walked over to his locker tiredly and stripped off his lab coat.

Curtis saw and understood the whole exchange and sighed. "He's dead... damn. I was hoping that I didn't have to put my officers through this." Kerry looked ready to interrupt but Curtis held a hand up. "But I will Doctor Weaver. Now, do you know where I can find... is it Chuny? I believe she is a nurse?"

Kerry nodded, "She's still here. Just ask Frank at the desk, he'll know where she is."

Curtis nodded and quietly left the room. Kerry followed him out, almost running into Dave in the hall. "Shouldn't you be watching where you're going David?"

David blushed and backed up, "Sorry Chief, I um.. have to go. Doctor Legs is up on the roof."

Kerry frowned at Dave's retreating back as she pushed the up button on the elevator.


	9. Chapter 9

"C'mon, up and at 'em Red... they're kicking us out."

Kerry stood, but didn't move. Sandy picked up Kerry's crutch and held it for a second. "You drive here?"

"El..."

Sandy helped Kerry thread her arm though the crutch and put an arm around the red head's waist. "Me too. C'mon, we'll get you home."

"Didn finish the story..."

"So, finish it now..."

Kerry stared at the ground, "She was up on the roof."


	10. Chapter 10

Kerry stood next to Kim, her hands on the railing. "Captain Scott was just doing his job. Are you okay?"

Kim put an arm around Kerry's waist and pulled the shorter woman to her. "I am now..." Kerry sighed and Kim frowned. "What's wrong Ker? Is it because it's your birthday?"

Kerry looked up, surprised, "I didn't know you knew."

Kim reached to one side and brought out a single rose.

Kerry's eyebrow rose in a question. "Is there something you aren't telling me Kim? Black?"

Kim winced and started to pull it back, but Kerry took it. "Just, think of it as dark red Ker, as deep a color as my love is for you." She paused and a small smile appeared, "And it was all I could find on such short notice. Why didn't you tell me?"

Kerry shook her head, "I don't celebrate my birthday anymore."

"What, c'mon, you're not that old."

Kerry pulled back and took a step away from the blonde. "It has nothing to do with age."

Kim tried to pull Kerry to her again, but Kerry resisted. Kim crossed her arms over her chest. "Talk to me Ker."

"You mean so that we get to the surprise party already?" Kim frowned, "Do people, do you think I'm joking when I say it's my ER? I know everything that goes on in there. Period." She paused, "I don't celebrate my birthday."

"Why?"

Kerry turned to face Kim straight on, "Because I don't. I'm going home."

Kim caught Kerry's arm. "Don't do this again Kerry. Don't shut me out. It's just a party, it's just your birthday."

"Not to me."

"Tell me why, please Kerry."

Kerry shook Kim's hand off. "You're not my Psychiatrist, okay, just leave me be, this, this one day." She practically choked out the last word, "Please."

"No." Kim got between Kerry and the door off the roof.

Kerry stared Kim down. If she'd had heat vision Kim's entire body would have been on fire. "Are you truly going to be like every other god damned man I've ever dated Kim, try to control me, try to change me. I am who I am. Sometimes I just need space, and I don't celebrate my birthday. Period."

Kerry paused, the silence pregnant with rage. "Move, now."

Kim blinked and reflexively stepped to one side. "Kerry..."

But Kerry didn't stop, the door slamming closed behind her with a thundering crash.


	11. Chapter 11

"Thank you... Sandy..."

Sandy smiled down at Kerry, who was splayed out on her own couch, in her own house, after some fumbling by Kerry for her key. "You won't even remember my name."

Kerry struggled to sit up, but after a few moments of not being able to accomplish it, she stopped. "I'm not... I'm not drunk."

Sandy pushed a lock of hair off of Kerry's forehead, "Trust me Red, you are, but it's okay, when you're mourning it's permissible to get drunk off your ass."

Kerry slowly looked up at Sandy. The red head didn't seem to be able to do anything fast. It was like she was trying to swim through Jello. "How'd ya know?"

Sandy smiled, "I'm the only girl in my family, my mother drilled it into me how to empathize like a proper Catholic girl."

Kerry's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, her neurons weren't quite making the correct connections. "That doesn't make any sense." Kerry sniffed, and swallowed, "She was supposed to understand, she was the one that was... her brother died when he was ten, in her arms. The ambulance didn't come, she was suppose... I wasn't, they both died on my birthday, they were all I ever had, they... she was suppose ta under..." Kerry closed her eyes and laid back. "Why..."

"It'll be better tomorrow Red. Just sleep." Sandy grabbed the afghan off the top of the couch and laid it over Kerry. She started to move away, but Kerry caught her and yanked her down. Their mouths collided and Kerry's hand pressed the back of Sandy's head.

It took a minute before Sandy could pull herself away. "You'll regret this Red." She stood up straight and adjusted her shirt. "Talk to your girl. Tell her about whoever you're mourning, she'll..." Sandy realized that Kerry wasn't listening because she was fast asleep. Sandy pulled the afghan up to Kerry's chin and stared at the red head for a moment, "Kim's a lucky woman."

oOOOOo

The knocking wouldn't stop. It went on and on and on. Kerry groaned and rolled to a sitting position, the afghan pooling around her ankles. She found her crutch propped at the end of the couch. She stood. "I'm coming, God almighty stop the fireworks I'm coming." Kerry whipped open the door and audibly groaned. "Kim... come back later, I'm way too hung over to deal with this right now."

"Kerry."

Kerry held her head and slowly shook it. "I know, I'm supposed to share everything, we're supposed to be like a married couple, but I... I can't. I need a break, I need space. I need to... I don't know what I need. Maybe I need you and don't know it, maybe you're right about everything, always, but right now..."

Kim chuckled and shook her head. Kerry glared at the taller woman and Kim held her hands up, "Sorry, you want to break up with me. Over the fact that I'm pushing too much. I never pushed in any of my relationships before you, never... and you're breaking up with me because I just keep pushing. It's ironic."

Kerry sighed and took a step back, "Come in."

Kim stepped into Kerry's house and closed the door. She stood totally still, her hands at her sides. "Am I right?"

Kerry shifted from one foot to the other. "I... I haven't just been with you... in bed since... there were two years when we were apart... but you're my only... female relationship."

Kim stared at Kerry. "I..." She trailed off. The humor had worn off the situation as fast as it had entered it. "What about work?"

Kerry took a step forward, Kerry could practically see the walls coming up. "Kim."

"You need time. The thing is, sometimes time runs out..." With that, Kim turned on her heel and left Kerry standing, once again, alone in her house, with a hell of a hangover.

She put a hand to her head.


End file.
